Let’s be real shall we… Weddings have the kind of energy you can’t bottle, but only feel. They can be a little chaotic, wildly opinionated, and have traditions stuck in the past you can’t seem to run away from. As a Texas Wedding Photographer who’s seen it all — the fairytales, the craziness, the unforgettable, and the wait… Did that really just happen?! — here are some spicy wedding hot take truths I’ve picked up along the way.

Buckle up. This is love, totally unfiltered. You’re welcome.

1. Walking down the aisle is iconic, but first looks are unfiltered moments.

Tradition is sweet, but nerves are too real and we need to own up it. A first look gives you an intimate private moment alone, just the two of you together. No audience. No pressure. Just love and a chance to breathe — and trust me, the photos? Absolutely Gold. In fact, it might be the only real private moment you get all day.

2. Traditions are optional—authenticity isn’t. Ditch the traditions if you don’t feel it.

There I said it. If tossing a garter feels cringey, SKIP. IT. BOO. If you’d rather do a ice cream sandwich bar than cut a cake, freaking do that. Your wedding isn’t a checklist — it’s your vibe, what you two love and truly represents you both. Sorry, mom!

3. Your wedding is not a family reunion, so skip the distant cousins’ last name confusion.

HOT TAKE: You don’t have to invite everyone or a plus one you’ve ever met nor you’ve never met. If you haven’t had a genuine conversation in years, why share your most sacred moments with them? Let alone, why share them with complete strangers you’ve never met and will probably never meet again?! (cringe) This means extended family you didn’t know existed.

4. Pinterest is inspiration only — Not your copy/paste tool.

Your love story is one-of-a-kind. Don’t dilute it trying to match a board from 2016. Get inspired, but make it your own. The “perfect Pinterest wedding” is a complete lie. Those photos took a styled shoot, six plus vendors, and no guests whatsoever. I’ll reiterate this for all of the wedding planners, florists, wedding photographers and all the amazing wedding vendors – we love to create. We are CREATIVES. Give us your mood board and we will do our thang. Also, your style you like now will eventually be outdated a decade from now (ouch), so why stress? Why worry? Let the pros do what they do best. Give the pros the liberty to create something personalized and tailored just for you. Don’t worry, you’ll have to approve.

5. Your ceremony isn’t a concert. The notifications should wait.

No one wants a photo of your first kiss with someone’s iPhone in the shot or let alone walking back down the aisle with your spouse and everyone has their phones out!!! Go unplugged — the emotions are way better when people are fully present. Have your officiant make an announcement before ANYONE walks down the aisle and/or after everyone is at the altar. Then have the officiant announce, “the Bride and Groom would like you to take their photo right now so you can be fully present during their ceremony. We ask you to put your phones on silent and away for the remainder of the ceremony.” The couple then turns around together before the ceremony begins so everyone can snap a photo on their phones and PUT THA THANG AWAY… (mic drop) No need to do a sign either. That’s just my take. People won’t read them and/or simply don’t care to read them.

6. We might not need dessert to celebrate—but let’s be real, it still feels incomplete if there’s nothing that sweet.

A small cake for the two of you is perfect while your guests go for donuts, churros, pies, a dessert bar, charcuterie spread, or a midnight pizza, tacos or burger bar. If you want a cake, do it. They are definitely show stoppers, but not everyone eats cake. If anything, you can have one faux cake layer. People remember fun, not fondant. I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve seen soooo much cake left over after a wedding and the parents of the couple are begging people to take cake home and the staff at the venue will end up throwing it out. FYI – wedding cake is cut differently than just cutting a typical cake slice at home.

7. Be unapologetic with your time. That is all.

There’s nothing wrong with centering yourself on your wedding day—just make sure it’s from a place of joy, not ego. This day flies by. Steal those quiet moments that can present itself to pause and reflect together, sneak away for sunset photos, and yes — actually sit down to eat your dinner or better yet have a private dinner while your guests are having cocktail hour.

8. Sometimes, quality comes at a price—and for your photos, it’s a price you simply can’t beat.

If you wouldn’t grab coffee or feel like you could hang with them, don’t book them. “Dangggggg”, I said what I said and don’t hold back one bit. You’ll spend more time with your photographer than anyone else on the most important day of your life (even your spouse sometimes — no joke). Truth be told – they turn into legitimate longtime friends because they stick up for you in the end. They put you first and foremost on the biggest important day of your entire life! Also, just because your friend is good with a camera doesn’t mean they should shoot your wedding unless they are a full time professional in the wedding industry. Most likely, they will prefer to enjoy being a guest at your day. Hire. A. Professional. How do I know this? I did this for my wedding and fully regret my decision to this very day. I wasn’t in the wedding industry then, but man oh man I wish I would have done my research then.

9. It’s the moments that matter most—not the napkin fold.

Splurge where it matters especially if you have a set budget: photography, good food, music, entertainment, wedding coordinator, wedding planner, florals, venue and the overall experience. No one’s posting about your chair covers. Sorry, not sorry. Your guests will post about the energy of the night and the experience they felt. The only one who will remember your napkin folds will be the next “soon-to-be” Mrs.

10. An air fryer is nice, but champagne on a balcony in Italy? Need I say more. (drop the mic)

Weddings are one day. The honeymoon? That’s your first adventure as a married couple away from everything and everyone. Give yourselves that gift. You deserve it and you won’t regret it. Put it on your registry and be specific about those items. For instance, a couples massage for $$$, picnic near the Eiffel Tower for $$$, or a sunset sailboat dinner in Greece for $$$.

11. Weekday weddings should be more normalized. There I said it.

Weekdays for wedding venues in general are a heck of a lot cheaper, have more availability to book your date, and honestly, who doesn’t love a good Thursday turn-up especially when it’s beautiful weather out?!? I’m down for a weekday wedding any day.

12. Cash bars can make your wedding feel cringed.

Yeppers, truth be told. If you can’t afford an open bar, consider beer/wine only. You can even do mocktails if you prefer non alcoholic beverages. Guests rave these beauties and they are quite delicious!

13. No assigned seating means musical chairs.

No one wants the “where do we sit” anxiety spiral and leave tables completely unused or better yet get the coordinator involved to help figure it out by reconfiguring people to sit together. Assigned seating is so vital. It makes your wedding reception perfectly seamless. You or your wedding planner can get really creative with this too by making it into a fun display instead of a printout sign. Also, put your seating chart in the cocktail area so while they grab their drinks and small bites they know their table number and aren’t stampeding up on another, which holds up your reception up because everyone can’t find their seat.

14. Timeline signs are either yay or nay and will always be.

I love the aesthetic of a good looking timeline sign, but it should be a loose guide, not a hard strict schedule. It can be extra clutter if not designed properly well executed. For instance, use phrases like “Cocktail hour begins around 5” instead of “5:00 sharp.” It reduces the number of questions people will bug your coordinator with or worse—even you! We don’t need Grandpa Joe coming up and asking you, “it’s 10 minutes past cake cutting time, little Susie” because he wants a slice of cookies cream chocolate cake so he can head on home now. They’re great for large weddings, but if you’re having a small/intimate wedding, skip it. Just have your DJ communicate verbally and go with the flow, dear. It’s a total preference because not everyone reads the signs on a wedding day anyway.

15. Too have or not to have equal Bridesmaids and Groomsmen. Odds are okay.

Not every wedding party needs 6+ of each bridesmaids and groomsmen. Your friends can support you without matching dresses and forced group chats like for reals. Let alone, some couples today are making contracts with their bridal party. JUST STOP. If they are legitimately your ride or die, do it and they will love to abide.

16. Not every couple needs a hashtag—this isn’t 2016.

If your wedding hashtag is longer than a tweet, no one will be using it. #WilliamAndBrittany2026ForeverEver isn’t a vibe nor will it be posted. Keep it short, simple and sweet.

17. If the speeches are longer than your ceremony, it’s not a toast—it’s a TED Talk.

No one really wants to sit through 6+ toasts. Cap speeches at 2–3, or spread them out—preferably before people are getting tipsy. Better yet, save them for your rehearsal dinner the night before and have one person from each side of the family speak on your wedding night or none at all, but bless the food.

18. Bridal beauty isn’t one-size-fits-all. You define your glow.

Do you boo, but if you don’t wear lots of makeup and have never worn false eyelashes, you don’t have to look like a completely different person. A heavy glam wedding day isn’t required unless that’s totally the vibe you’re going for. Whether you’re going for natural look or glam look, it is important to wear a little extra than normal amount of makeup for your photos, but it needs to be you and comfortable. So don’t wear absolutely nothing.

19. Wedding favors? Cute and forgotten in 24 hours? Also true.

Unless they are homemade, nobody is going to talk about it or want to take it home. In fact, if they are homemade they will eat them there and leave the packaging behind. Skip them—nobody wants a toss away. It’s a waste of money that could have easily gone towards entertainment, upgraded cocktails, a glammed up portrait photo booth, a personalized watercolor portrait artist or better yet, a late night snack. If you want them, do you!

20. Your DJ is more important than the cake.

People won’t remember your buttercream flavor or what you ate for dinner. What they will remember is if the dance floor was dead by 8 and alive past 10. A good DJ carries your reception the whole way through so make sure you find a good one who can keep the party alive.

Final Thoughts: It’s your day — So do you, please.

So go right ahead — break some traditional rules. Make new ones. Skip that bouquet toss. Do you and be you. Let your wedding day be exactly what it should be: yours and only yours. The “perfect” wedding does not exist. Something will go wrong beyond your control, but embrace the chaos and most importantly let your day be your way.